"Oh my God! You came!" Autumn said, running up to Erica the first night of the tour.
"I couldn't miss my best friend's first performace as a superstar!"
"That's why I love you, girl." They laughed.
"Autumn babe, it's time," Nick said coming up to her. "Hey Erica, good to see you
again."
"You too Nick." Nick, Autumn, Erica, and her ex-boyfriend, Josh, had double dated a
couple of times. They all got along really well.
"Alright, see ya after I get off stage chica."
"Kay." The house lights went dark and the crowd went wild. She didn't know why, she
was just the opening act. Maybe they forgot about her and thought it was the boys coming.
She walked under the stage and got on the elevator, or one part of the stage that would
shoot the person up onto the stage. It was the most high-tech element of her performance. But
she was really excited for the first song, she had dancers! She even had them for another song
she would perform last.
"3..2...1...blast off!" she said to the technition, joking of course, but he went by her
countdown. The lights were on, the spotlight was on her, and the music started. "Hello
Atlanta!!!" she screamed, throwing her hands into the air. She started dancing and singing.
"Am I a blind lover, different than any other, lover that you've had before?
I had love for you forever, not once did I ever, think you didnt love me anymore."
'Blind Lover' was a choice for her next single. They hadn't decided yet though. She
went through a small set of songs including 'You, Untruthful, If You Believe,' and Kevin's song
that she helped him co-write called 'What You Deserve.' She wanted to sing her and Nick's
duet, but she couldnt because of her contract. She and everyone else thought it was definately
the best song on the album, but it was breech of contract to release it. Capitol Records, home of
Deana Carter, said that releasing it wouldn't be a problem. She just wished she could get her
contract changed. Maybe it was a good thing though. All the other famous couples who did a
video together never made it. But that brought up another question in her mind, did she see her
and Nick together forever? She realized that she got with him for the wrong reasons, but was
she in love with him? She had told him she was, but was she just saying that so that he'd stay
with her. Erica had warned her about this. She definately had to sit down for a talk with that girl
during the guys performance.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Excellent! You were awesome baby!" Nick said to her once she came off stage. He
hugged her sweaty body. All those lights made it about 120 degrees onstage.
She kissed him, "Just go get ready."
"Oh..yeah. Wish me luck."
"Luck." He headed to his dressing room. The other guys were in their outfits, Nick never
was. Erica, she said turning to her. "We need to talk."
They walked to a room which contained a couch and a buffet of food. There was fruits,
vegetables, bread, all kinds of snack food, and a cooler full of a variety of pop, juice, and water.
It was known as the fatty room, because that's where they all went to get fattened up before
they lost it all onstage.
"What's up?"
"It's me and Nick, I don't know what to do."
"What's wrong? Nothing looked wrong. That boy loves you to death."
"That's the problem, I don't know if I love him too."
"Have you told him you loved him?"
"Yeah."
"Well, why'd you do that if youre not sure, stupid?!?!"
"I don't know, I was afraid if I didn't say that, hed leave me or something."
"So you don't want him to leave you."
"No, not now anyway."
"But you might in the future?"
"Well, yeah, no, I don't know. That's the problem."
"Do you see yourselves getting married."
"Not really. I just like where were at right now. We see each other all day, everyday.
We have fun together, but if one of us wants to do something that the other doesn't, we can go
do it. With dating, youre free-er than you are when you 'settle down.'" She used her fingers and
made the quotation marks.
"Well, how much of a mess have you gotten yourself into?"
"What?"
"Like, how did you tell him? That you love him."
"Well, I said like, well, I asked him if he loved me as much as I love him."
"Oh no," she said, shaking her head. "Big no, no."
"It gets worse." Erica rolled her eyes.
"I can never trust you to do anything by yourself."
"I know, but then he said only if I loved him so much that I would go to the end of the
world for him. Then I told him I would, then he said he loved me as much."
She sighed, "Autumn, I hope you know you made a big mistake there."
"I know, but, if you were there, you'd know why I did it."
"Why, where and when did this take place?"
"Well, it was a few weeks ago, at my place, in my bed."
"Do I want to know where this is going? Did you just say that so he'd fuck you?"
"What?! NO! I wouldn't...that is I.."
"You did, didn't you!?!?"
"No! The look in his eye, he just put me at his mercy. And it was our first time together.
It had to be memorable."
"And now, how many other time have you told him you loved him?"
"Just when he says he loves me, then I have to say it back."
"And how many time have you guys fucked now?"
"I plead the 5th."
"I don't believe you Autumn. I told you, you'd better not hurt that boy, he's too sweet to
take that again."
"I know, I know. That's why I dont know what to do."
"You're in a pile of shit girl, and it's growing every second you dont do anything about it.
I'm going to go watch the show now, come join me if you feel like it." She got up and left.
Autumn sat on the couch. She was so confused. She thought she knew what she wanted, she
was going to get out of it before anyone got hurt. It was too late for that. Nick would get hurt no
matter what, unless she stayed with him. But she wanted out, or so she thought. She didn't
know what she wanted. She just wished it was someone besides herself in this mess.
She walked over to the small radio. She turned the volume down to 1 and turned it on.
It was on a rock station that they had listened to earlier. She listened to the lyrics, it was one of
her favorite bands, Staind. The song was called 'Open Your Eyes.' She thought it was
appropriate for how she was feeling right now:
What would you do, (what would you do)
if it was you? (if it was you?)
Would you take everything for granted like you do?
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